New Year’s Resolutions That Will Succeed
According to the Pew Research Center, traditionally, one-third to one-half of Americans make New Year's resolutions. The most common are fairly predictable: financial commitments, such as saving more or paying down debt (51%), eating healthier (51%), exercising more (50%) and losing weight (42%).
Quite often, some of these good intentions are too unspecific to be actionable, which can lead to frustration or even outright abandonment of the resolutions. When asked about why these resolutions fail, most people say: what seemed important in the abstract wasn't really worth the effort.
So, set some realistic goals that reflect your values, to improve your well-being and happiness – not your wallets or waistlines – and make them part of your daily routine. The secret: a balanced and effective strategy, based on three research-based principles, for real results at minimal cost.
A balanced strategy centered around three research lessons
Live in “day-tight compartments”
The scientific literature is clear: goals are a source of great happiness when they are short-term, achievable and lead us to ultimate success - in other words, when their achievement indicates that we are making progress. In fact, progression toward a goal can bring even more happiness than its actual completion.
To build a happiness strategy around this principle, you need to set an end goal, then break it down into manageable steps: one year, one month, one week, one day. The idea is to integrate new behaviors into smaller more manageable actions. So, your end-of-year goal for improving your fitness could look like this: start off by doing two push-ups a day for as long as you're not in top shape (not 100); figure out where in your routine the new behavior fits best (doing your two push-ups right after breakfast, for example), then celebrate the practice of that behavior every day (but maybe not by eating a second breakfast).
The one-day goals are especially important. In his 1948 self-improvement classic, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie recommended that his readers resolve to live in “day-tight compartments.” Take stock of long-term goals regularly, but not too often (for me, every six months does the trick); focus the rest of the time on what is to be done today that creates positive progress. Finish your work, set it aside, and relish the accomplishment. Then, start again tomorrow.
Focus on the journey
Long-term goals can be audacious and bold without leaving us disappointed if they go unfulfilled. The secret lies in a formula articulated by the writer Deepak Chopra: intention without attachment.
Excessive attachment to anything in life is a source of suffering. To remedy this, key objectives should not be seen as the only way to achieve happiness, but rather as navigation points that set a direction to follow for your life journey. That way, when storms arise and new opportunities present themselves, you can set a new goal and gracefully abandon the old one, thereby avoiding disappointment and missed opportunities.
When setting out your long-term goals, write them down followed by the words: or something better. This gives you explicit permission to deviate from your goals as life circumstances dictate - which you can and should do without disappointment if your original goals are no longer appropriate.
Set intrinsic goals
Extrinsic goals - the worldly aspirations that lead to money, power and prestige - can be the hardest to achieve because they are inherently zero-sum. Access to money and power means accepting the lifestyle that goes with it, such as having less free time or spending less time with your children, and so on. So, when the costs become apparent, the resolution often fails the cost/benefit test, leading to its abandonment.
Intrinsic goals are based on core values rather than external validation and are positive-sum. This results not only in a greater level of motivation but also in a deeper, longer-lasting commitment to a given cause. As a general rule, intrinsic goals pass the cost/benefit test better than extrinsic ones. When individuals compare costs (time, effort, sacrifice) with benefits (joy, personal development), intrinsic goals score more favorably. In a 2001 study, for example, students who set academic performance targets consistent with their intrinsic values fared better than those who didn't, boosting their well-being and self-confidence. This led them to set more goals, achieve more, be happier, and so on.
Our failed resolutions are often attempts to gain happiness indirectly – like losing weight or exercising to become more attractive and, we hope, happier. Instead, we need resolutions that bring happiness directly. It would appear more effective to first improve our happiness and to let that motivate us to exercise, than to force ourselves to exercise to become happier.
Make a list of specific intrinsic goals and strive to achieve them. If you need help coming up with some, remember that intrinsic goals are akin to what writer David Brooks calls “eulogy virtues”: the things you'd like people to remember you for at the end of your life. For example, “loving mother”, not “5 million likes on Facebook.”
Final thoughts
Dream of the person you want to be, the life you want to lead and the actions you want to take to create value for yourself and others, so you can leave behind a world that's better than you found it.
Then, focus your attention on the things you'll do today in your work and relationships to stay on that path.
